The biggest news in our bubble recently is Amelia has fractured her Collar Bone/ Clavical. Obviously, when posting this my brain automatically jumps to the self-doubt of ‘does this make me a bad parent’. The fact of the matter is, I was not outside with her when the accident happened (I have underlined accident because there really was no fault from anyone). It was my younger sisters birthday, there were plenty of adults outside playing with her when she fell directly on to her shoulder. Nothing could have been done to stop it.
The initial impact happened and she cried (like all toddlers/ children would). A. is usually one of those kids who hurts herself and doesn’t cry or cries for a few seconds, wipes her face, laughs then says ‘I ok now’ and off she pops. This time I knew it was different, she didn’t stop with the tears. Hugs and kisses did not work for once. When asked where it hurt she pointed to one specific spot each time. In between the whimpers she sobbed, ‘mummy please make it better, it hurts, cue tears from me too! We have been incredibly lucky with small one, bar the odd snuffley nose, we have never had an illness let alone any other incident in her two years of life. This was a whole new territory for me and I was in all honesty, a bit perplexed. Holding my littlen in my arms, desperately trying to sooth her pain, I looked at her and in that moment I felt the pressure of making the right decision for her more than ever before. Given it’s not a particularly serious incident and many face much worse and life changing decisions for their babies at much younger ages, but considering this is our biggest incident I felt it. Is this a matter to take to a professional or is she actually ok and just a bit over tired (having not had a nap). We gave her calpol which eventually helped, but she just stayed cuddled on my lap (I admittedly did love the cuddles). After an hour of not being herself, she suddenly sat bolt upright, turned to me and said ‘I ok now, I get down’. I was so relieved, running around like a crazy kid once again, I knew this was mostly because of the calpol (that stuff fixes everything mummy kisses can’t). When it came to picking her up however she was not ok. It clearly still hurt, and having observed her she wasn’t actually using her left arm.
My mind was made up, we were going to do what every parent absolutely loves to do on a Friday evening… a trip to minor injuries (A&E was far too drastic and more than I could have faced), I suppose it’s a little more exciting than the usual Friday night in, PJ’s and a cuppa. We met Steve at minor injuries, he was supposed to be with his mates and of course straight away Amelia acted as if there was nothing wrong. Happily playing in the waiting room, climbing up on the chairs and running around (probably excited by the fact it was now past her bed time). I think Steve was secretly questioning why we were there and admittedly even I was starting to question it. I have always been someone to only go to the doctors when it is obviously necessary. This time I was genuinely expecting to be sent home having been told it was a bruise and I had over reacted. This however was not the case.
The doctor that saw Amelia was wonderful, she played with small, and kept her entertained so she wasn’t even aware she was being assessed. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful NHS with such brilliant staff. A. was happily playing so when the doctor announced she suspected a fractured clavicle I was completely taken back. My poor little one. It didn’t really sink in till we got in the car with the Xray form in hand. That’s when my tears started – What is it about becoming a mum that means your emotions and hormones automatically become messed up?! Steve had gone to resume his night out and I was left to get small home, ready for bed and facing a potentially restless night alone. I was, however, presently surprised a few tears at bed time and a second moan of ‘mummy it hurts, make it better’ which made me cry yet again, the whole ordeal had completely zonked her out for the night (bar a few wake up and moans in the night which lasted seconds).
Straight up and out to get an X-ray the following morning, Amelia was her usual happy self. She was fantastic all through the X-ray, she stayed super still, pretending to be asleep. No tears, no drama she made me so proud. A short wait for the results and cue more tears (only from me) my little bubba had a fractured collar bone. We walked out of minor injuries sling in hand, because of course Amelia being as stubborn and independent as she is refused to wear it and took it off.
Back home and our brave little soldier seems to be none the wiser and has continued her fun and games with no complaint, just sporadic comments of ‘mummy it hurts’ ‘I ok now mummy, it doesn’t hurt’ (which obviously means it does) and the one that gets me every time, ‘mummy make it better please’. Very little has changed, she is still running around like a crazy kid, jumping off things and she remains care free. I am trying to keep things calm, slow things down with no rushing around… but lets face it, is that even possible with a toddler?! The only outcome of this ordeal is I have become an over protective mum. I used to think she was the invincible kid and I let her test her abilities with climbing, jumping etc. Obviously within reason and always with someone watching. Now if I think she is even running to fast I get all panicked, which is mad, I have never been like this. As time goes by I am easing up a bit but I seem to constantly be shadowing her and telling her to slow down and will continue to do so for the next 3-4 weeks at least.
Naturally our idea of slowing down is to just give her a softer landing!